T.O.’s inner child.

It has taken 31 practices (12 of which he participated in), but T.O. finally drew his first fine. He probably should have gotten one for showing up to a training camp thinking it was Halloween [dressed in a Team Discovery uniform while he was riding the excercise bike], and he probably should have gotten one for missing so many practices and then expecting to play [can you fine someone for general stupidity? Is it okay to use brackets twice in one sentence?], but this is the first actual fine. Signing T.O. is the eqivalent of spending time with Paris Hilton. It sounds disease ridden sexy, and it’ll get your name in the blogs (no dice here, Mr. Cowboy Owner) but it won’t turn out well. And someone may end up in the hospital. It’s just bad news. Parcells is handling it pretty well, but he’s still in the first stage of greiving, denial. He won’t even say the T.O.’s name. Or even T.O., two random letters. Bill probably weeps himself to sleep at night with thoughts of what could have been a successful season. Poor guy. Somebody get that man a popsicle.

Kerry Collins finally signed with a team, and as a Kansas City Chiefs fan, I’m very excited. He’s not with us, nay, he’s latched on to the soft underbelly of the Tennessee Titans. Hey Tennessee, I hear Jeff George is still available, somebody give him a look. Seriously. What better influence for a young Vince Young than to be stuck behind two full blown alcoholics on the depth chart. Watching film while listening to Let’s Get Retarded by The Black Eyed Peas and Tipsy by J-Kwon is the only way to do it.

And now to Kansas City, the NFL equivalent of Dave Matthews Band. They used to be pretty good, with Crash and Joe Montana / Marcus Allen (not in that order) , but now they’re just okay, but you just keep hoping that THIS will be the season / album that makes them good again. Bad news fellow Chiefs fans–this ain’t the year. I’m pretty sure we’ll have a losing record, I’m pretty sure Herm Edwards is running a soft camp, and I’m pretty sure Willie Roaf isn’t coming back. We’re done. Stick a fork in us, we’re a Trent Green or Tony Gonzalez injury away from being the Buffalo Bills. We have the stability of Muhammad Ali’s Jenga tower.

The Little League World Series World Championship game is today (about half an hour actually), and I’m pretty
psyched. The first baseman for Georgia, Kyle Carter, is the American star of the tournament. The coach for Illinois, who Georgia beat in the American semifinal, was caught telling his players that Carter disrespects the game by wearing his hat sideways. Tough break Coach, but the kid wears it cocked to the side to avoid pain that is a minor side effect of having BRAIN SURGERY as a kid. So for those of you keeping score at home, that’s Georgia 3, Illinois 0. I give Georgia an extra point because I like peaches.

NOTE:  Since I originally posted this, Jeff George signed with the Raiders.

Share This