Category: Dallas Cowboys

Giants at Cowboys: Live Blog

14 December, 2008 (17:58) | Dallas Cowboys, Live Blog, NFL, New York Giants | By: Grafton

7:55pm: Al Michaels says the over/under on TO getting the ball is 5 minutes and 15 seconds. I’m guessing he arrived at this number by figuring how long it’ll take Madden to beat the topic to death, and then adding 5 minutes and 15 seconds.

8:08: The Ravens got hosed. This is clearly setting things up for a Ravens win in Pittsburgh in the playoffs. Karma. I’m sure Ray Lewis won’t have anything interesting to say about this, so let’s not bother to ask.

8:16: I’m sure it’s been said before, but Faith Hill does not make me think about football. She makes me want to gouge my eyes out, which seems counterproductive to NBC. They should rethink this.

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Drunk Cowboys Fans Provide Endless Joy

16 September, 2008 (10:18) | Alcohol, Buffalo Bills, Dallas Cowboys, General Stupidity, NFL, Should Have Seen This Coming | By: Grafton

Growing up in Upstate New York during the height of Bills glory, I naturally have an intense dislike for the Dallas Cowboys. Every time Jim Kelly and Thurman Thomas seemed ready to beat those pesky bad guys, they’d ruin the Bills in the Super Bowl and celebrate with drugs and hookers.

Naturally I’m slightly displeased with their victory last night on Monday night football, but at least I can take solace in the fact that they haven’t won a playoff game since Clinton was in office. Oh yeah, and this:

Nice work, guys.

Pacman – a real asset to Dallas…

18 January, 2008 (14:13) | Dallas Cowboys | By: Phil Ayres

Boy did I love hearing this….

Appearing in a video shot by, Jones responds to a question about where he will be in 2-3 years.
“Hopefully 2 Pro Bowls. Hopefully I can get out of Tennessee. I want to go to Dallas,’’ Jones said. “So we’ll see how it goes and I am just going to keep my head up.” It’s unclear when the video was shot, though it’s believed it was filmed several months ago and was just posted on the site. is an UrbanStyle weekly serving the African American community. Jones appears in the video wearing a t-shirt and holding a microphone.

Ah, yes, I am sure that he will be a fine addition to the thug
tradition in the Big D… Tank Johnson, TO, Deion, Irvin… ah, yes…
carrying on that fine Cowboy tradition of being “America’s [Thug] Team”.

TO’s return to Philly this weekend….

1 November, 2007 (07:10) | Dallas Cowboys, Philadelphia Eagles | By: Phil Ayres

Sayeth TO….

“They still love me, I don’t care what they say,” Owens said. “Those
boos, they ain’t really boos, man. There’s a lot of love in those boos. They
ain’t got no choice but to boo me because I’m on the other side. I guarantee you
if I were to get traded to the Eagles right now, they would love me. …

Really, are you sure those aren’t boos?  Wow, you were the worst teammate ever.  I tend to think the boos are … well…. boos.

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Romo signs 6-year deal

29 October, 2007 (19:07) | Dallas Cowboys | By: Phil Ayres

So, Tony Romo has agreed to a six-year, $67 million deal.  Alas, the Cowboys have a franchise QB.  For years, I thought that they forgot their formula.  Romo is the first QB that they have had since Aikman.  Kudos to them on getting Romo signed.

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Tank Johnson is a Cowboy

19 September, 2007 (06:19) | Dallas Cowboys | By: Phil Ayres

Wow, this is great… the highly benevolent Jerry Jones (God bless him for his wonderful acts.) is at it, again… reaching out to the troubled and broken… and he has been so nice as to take Tank Johnson into the Cowboy fold.

On a radio show in Dallas, yesterday, Jerry the Saint said that “the organization changed to equip itself for better players with troubled pasts.”  Is this something new… or has this been in place since Irvin was there…. who will they take in next?  Perhaps, Pac-man…. or perhaps the great dog killer, Vick?

You never know where Saint Jerry will strike next.  In fact, Dallas may not even need to participate in the draft… I am sure they can pick up enough free agents on parole… hey, is Ray Carouth still in jail?

Lovie going to the Big D?

24 January, 2007 (05:42) | Chicago Bears, Dallas Cowboys, General | By: Phil Ayres

Alright, rumors have now surfacing that Dallas is targeting Lovie Smith for the job in Dallas. Look, it is just not going to happen. Lovie would be dumb to leave his situation in Dallas to go play with Jerry’s kids. If he wants more money, now, certainly, he can negotiate a more lucrative deal.

At this point, I think that Dallas would be well-advised to go after Jim Mora. That would be a good move for them.

Parcells is out … a.k.a. should never have been there to begin with

22 January, 2007 (12:55) | Dallas Cowboys, General | By: Phil Ayres

Let’s rewind the clock… a Hall of Fame coach goes back and coaches a Jerry Jones team. Hmmmmm??? I never imagined why he would agree to do it (other than the money was pretty good). But, Parcells just never was Parcells in the Big D. It is like he didn’t give a shit. You go back and talk to his players from the Jets, Pats, or Giants days … and they are like “who the hell is this guy?”… hugging on players…. not chewing ass.

In retrospect, though, Dallas is a little bit ahead of where they were in the Dave Campo era… maybe. Hey, they can always go hire Denny Green. Right? Remember, Jerry said that it was between Parcells and the eternally shitty, Denny Green. And, they were equally qualified. (though I can’t see it – since Parcells will go to Canton and … well… Denny Green couldn’t coach my high school’s team). So, problem solved, right Jere, you loser? Hire Denny, and watch your team go further into the shitter. And, remember the lesson from the Yankees, with all the money in the world, you can’t buy heart.