Growing up in Upstate New York during the height of Bills glory, I naturally have an intense dislike for the Dallas Cowboys. Every time Jim Kelly and Thurman Thomas seemed ready to beat those pesky bad guys, they’d ruin the Bills in the Super Bowl and celebrate with drugs and hookers.

Naturally I’m slightly displeased with their victory last night on Monday night football, but at least I can take solace in the fact that they haven’t won a playoff game since Clinton was in office. Oh yeah, and this:

Nice work, guys.

This site has a nice list of the status of first round draft picks as we near camp. Most picks in the middle of the first round will fall into place once the guy in front of them signs, giving the team and the player a more reasonable idea of what the contract should look like.

The start of the 2008 season will mark MFBs 2nd season in a league that pits us against other fantasy football websites. Last season we decided to take over a team that was less than stellar in a league with a very complicated set of rules and regulations. In short, we were in over our heads. Fortunately the keeper rules allowed us to keep our quality players (Randy Moss, Donovan McNabb, Larry Fitzgerald) and the guys we had from recent drafts (Frank Gore and Roddy White, thankfully) while trimming the fat and hoping the defensive players we picked weren’t terrible. We ultimately ended up losing in the quarterfinals as the #6 seed in a 14 team league, so there’s room for improvement.

Heading into this year we are allowed to make claims to three offensive players. One player will be absolutely protected, and the other two are Restricted Free Agents, meaning that if they are won at auction by another team, we’ll get draft picks from them. Last year I’m fairly certain that all RFAs ended up with their original team. Our keeper options are:

Donovan McNabb (RFA last year)
Michael Turner
Selvin Young
Larry Fitzgerald (Keeper last year)
Randy Moss (RFA last year)
Jason Witten

Notable players we’ll also have because they’re under contract include Kellen Clemens, Roddy White, Frank Gore, Calvin Johnson, and Roddy White.

So there you have it, our offensive situation going into the start of the league. Let us know what you think about the situation and we’ll keep you updated throughout the season.

Training camp is approaching, which means the NFL regular season will be here before we know it, fully prepared to dominate our Sundays through the end of January. It’s inescapable. However, we manage to build up an itch for a little gridiron news over the summer, so here’s a little bit of what you might have missed:

Perhaps RB Travis Henry isn’t the magnanimous personality we thought he was. He’s fathered 9 kids by 17 different women, but was able to get out of a positive marijuana test last year by claiming it was courtesy of second hand smoke. I don’t run drug tests, but he must’ve been hanging out with Snoop Dogg a lot prior to that test. Now this happens. Good work, Travis.

Apparently, Clay Travis tells us, throwing the phrase “no homo” on the end of ambiguously gay sentences is all the rage in NFL locker rooms. I can use the phrase “all the rage” without the 90s Police coming after me because friends of mine from areas that aren’t exactly centers for pop culture tell me the phrase “no homo” has been used since around the same time.

The New England Patriots might have the craziest NFL fan out there. This of course comes after the same man gained notoriety for getting the Patriots helmet logo tattooed on either side of his head. The interesting thing for me is that the space on his body is “starting at only $200 per square inch.” If he’s a good business man those are the spots that receive the least amount of…shall we say exposure. I’d be very interested in finding out what someone else wants to pay $200 per square inch for to have this man tattoo it on his ass, or worse. *shudders*

Briefly, on a more depressing note, Patriots lineman Nick Kaczur was caught buying OxyContin illegally , allegedly at a clip of $3,900 for 100 pills every few days. I don’t care if they’re Flintstones Chewables, if you’re taking 100 pills of anything every few days you’ve got problems.

So talented… too bad… no doubt this is the end of him as a serious athlete.  At best, he will play again when he is 30 years old… but, is any team really willing to take a chance on him… for a running QB with a 79 QB rating?  I doubt it.  He never was really good… and was ALways more hype than a good QB.  Given that his running skills will be sub-par in a few years… I think this is the end of the road for Vick… maybe, the Cowboys will give him a chance… they will take on any felon, won’t they?

If your kiddos want to get an e-mail from Santa, check this out.

This was hysterical……

A teenage schoolboy was pulled around his classroom on a lead and spanked by a stripper after a birthday surprise blunder.The pupil’s mum had ordered an agency to give her son a “surprise”
on his 16th birthday – and the teacher had even agreed to film the
prank.But it all went wrong when the unnamed company sent a
stripper dressed as a policewoman instead of a “gorillagram” – in what
it called a booking error.One witness told reporters: “She asked
the lad to stand up, which he did, and told him he had been a very
naughty boy because he hadn’t been doing his homework.”Then she put on some Britney Spears music and got out a collar and lead from her bag and told him to put them on.”

the Fabulous Moolah has passed away… and if you don’t know who that is… you probably don’t know who Jimmy the Superfly Snuka or the Junkyard Dog are, either.

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I couldn’t believe … actually, I could… that he did it, again.

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In perhaps my favorite story of the offseason, the NFL has scheduled a regular season game abroad, to take place in London. The Miami Dolphins find themselves in the odd position of being the home team despite having to play approximately 5,200 miles away from home. The real losers here aren’t the Dolphins, or even the Giants, who get screwed having to play a game that could cause jet lag issues during the middle of their season. They weren’t going anywhere anyway, and each team will be lucky to see .500 this year.

The real losers are the Dolphins season ticket holders. They get their tickets as usual to this game, since it is, after all, a Miami home game. One might even consider this a good thing, as they’ll just get to sell their tickets for some nice coin (the cheapest tickets issued so far are $90) on eBay, no? No.

The NFL says the eBays are too scary, with their systems of interlocking tubes and what have you, so they’re not issuing the tickets until the week before the game, essentially forcing the fans to either eat the ticket or fly to London for the game.

I’ll preface this by saying that I applaud most of what Goodell has done as commish, but this blows. If I pay a ton of cash for my season tickets, I don’t really feel the need to take into consideration where the game is happening. I buy Bears tickets, I assume the game is at Soldier Field, not bloody England! Unite Dolphins fans (all three of you!), and say you want to put your tickets on the eBays. Or go enjoy some real beer in Europe, then come back here and stare at your Rolling Rock with disgust. Either way, you lose.